Lez Date: Just How To Venture Out Since An Anxious Lez | GO Magazine

Dear Dayna,

I’ve usually desired to head to a lesbian bar, but i am stressed that I’m not cool enough. The manner in which you talk about it’s so amazing and fun and impressive, but i am scared i am also introverted for the world. Plus if I could get myself to a bar, In my opinion I would personally purge basically attempted to hit on a woman. I must say I would you like to go out and socialize in order to find a girlfriend, but my personal personal anxiousness keeps getting in just how. What are some pointers for a first and initial time nerdy lesbian?

– Lesbian Urkle

Dear Lesbian Urkle,

I could possess respect of offering advice as a lesbian gender and dating blogger, but oh honey!
We panic my method through existence
, you’ve arrived at the right place for support. Though Im an anxious babe, we however regularly go out, turn-up and attach. How, you ask? Follow these basic steps: Have a look beautiful, beverage and force yourself to consult with strangers.

Very first things initial:
Needed a outfit
. I won’t rest for your requirements —
yes, lesbian taverns is daunting.
Yes, the scene can feel only a little cliquish. Yes, the girls tend to be hot and clothed impeccably. You understand what otherwise? Those exact same ladies tend to be people like everyone else and myself. They’re out to celebrate just like you and myself.  And they’re probably touring for gender exactly like you and me personally. Do you know what more?
You will be as cool and swaggy should you decide overcome the anxiousness.

Once you have scored a hot brand-new ensemble (might i will suggest black denim jeans and a leather-jacket to play it traditional lez posh?), it is advisable to drink. I never ever stated this was healthy advice! I am a nightlife lez, not a fitness lez. Having loosens you upwards, lowers the inhibitions and heightens your own confidence. But do not drink too much. You would imagine you really have social stress and anxiety now, woman? Its nothing compared to the crushing-chest-head-fog-panic-shame-spiral might feel any time you awaken tomorrow perhaps not recalling last night. You may have a five-drink maximum, hottie.

More important than consuming has been nice. I accustomed change into significant mean-girl-mode as a defense device based on how vulnerable I found myself experiencing. I would scowl at anyone that viewed me. We acted like I was too-good to speak with visitors. Today i will be constantly smiling and say to hi everyone. It is much easier even more enjoyable. I’m sure it really is tempting to put your tough-babe armour on when you’re feeling stressed, but getting susceptible and kind is actually a better strategy to make friends and enjoy yourself.

Residing my personal fab existence features taught me a really important thing: It isn’t really that serious. Like, there is nothing. Specifically lifestyle! Every day life is brief. Absolutely nothing you do will really make a difference (okay, now the Jenny Schecter in me is on its way out, slice the nihilism). In a nutshell, just state pick it, and enjoy yourself. It’s my opinion in you. And if you can see me away, arrive say hi!

Xoxo,

Dayna

Self-proclaimed dyke princess Dayna Troisi is actually happy to-be connect Editor at GO mag. The woman is passionate about lesbian gender + matchmaking, charm + manner, along with her badass bionic supply. The advice offered in this line is intended for informational functions just and ought to perhaps not replace or replacement any healthcare, or any other expert advice or help.